(This is the introductory posting. I didn't plan to do a daily update at this point, so it's just me rambling a bit.)
Isn't it strange how the perceived needs in our sives wax and wane, come and go? One day, you can't do without a good wank, or even two or three... then something changes, and you feel like you could go on forever on that oddly satisfying feeling of chastity.
Oh, and I got myself banned from /r/pureretention. Yeah I was harsh on the guy, I know, maybe too harsh. I didn't do it out of spite. I just feel that sometimes, we have to push back against the nonsense, the grandiose claims of people who simply cannot have it any other way, who cannot accept opposition against their ideas, who cannot conduct a debate or admit that they don't know something, that it's just a hunch, just conjecture. Sometimes one can be lovely and sweet and soft. Sometimes, not so much. This was one of those times.
I think almost all that is said about chastity online, is just conjecture based on some preconceived ideas, some ideology, some personal experiences, a bit of reading here and there.
So is what I have to say. We're all in the dark. We sometimes catch glimpses of truth. Wonderful if that happens, but we should be wary of overselling it. The real real REAL Truth, the one with a capital T, is still out there. None of us has it.
It's not about overcoming - overcoming desire with willpower, overcoming addiction by strength. I'm sure there are guys who need just that - to learn that they have the ability to move past their simplest physical needs for a while, to shake a habit that has overwhelmed them.
For me, it's not about that. That's why I sometimes give in to temptation, why there will always be times of intense masturbation.
For me, moving past shame is at least as important as moving into the ability to deal with frustration and temptation. Yes, half a year of chastity would be nice. Half a year of chastity, supervised by my wife, would be incredible. Alas, it is not in my stars, and I accept that.
It is about accepting what is, just as it is. When the urge strikes, and I do not resist, that is what is happening right now, and I strive to accept it. When the urge comes, and I can breathe through it, then I want to accept that, too.
I want to learn to accept as much pleasure as possible, and to see arousal as pleasure. Ultimately, I want to see everything as a form of pleasure - even pain, even sadness, even loss - or as a form of neutral event that just happens. I doubt that one can get there through an act of resistance, of overpowering. I think the way is through self-acceptance, not force.
I won't be spending much willpower on overcoming an urge. I think overcoming, overpowering is counter-productive. I think willpower is massively overrated in general. It only works in the short run. For long-term success, we need something different, something soft, something flexible, adaptive, flowing - watery, not rocky; seductive rather than violent; a web of silk and trust and comfort, rather than an iron armor.
Reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/
Isn't it strange how the perceived needs in our sives wax and wane, come and go? One day, you can't do without a good wank, or even two or three... then something changes, and you feel like you could go on forever on that oddly satisfying feeling of chastity.
Oh, and I got myself banned from /r/pureretention. Yeah I was harsh on the guy, I know, maybe too harsh. I didn't do it out of spite. I just feel that sometimes, we have to push back against the nonsense, the grandiose claims of people who simply cannot have it any other way, who cannot accept opposition against their ideas, who cannot conduct a debate or admit that they don't know something, that it's just a hunch, just conjecture. Sometimes one can be lovely and sweet and soft. Sometimes, not so much. This was one of those times.
I think almost all that is said about chastity online, is just conjecture based on some preconceived ideas, some ideology, some personal experiences, a bit of reading here and there.
So is what I have to say. We're all in the dark. We sometimes catch glimpses of truth. Wonderful if that happens, but we should be wary of overselling it. The real real REAL Truth, the one with a capital T, is still out there. None of us has it.
It's not about overcoming - overcoming desire with willpower, overcoming addiction by strength. I'm sure there are guys who need just that - to learn that they have the ability to move past their simplest physical needs for a while, to shake a habit that has overwhelmed them.
For me, it's not about that. That's why I sometimes give in to temptation, why there will always be times of intense masturbation.
For me, moving past shame is at least as important as moving into the ability to deal with frustration and temptation. Yes, half a year of chastity would be nice. Half a year of chastity, supervised by my wife, would be incredible. Alas, it is not in my stars, and I accept that.
It is about accepting what is, just as it is. When the urge strikes, and I do not resist, that is what is happening right now, and I strive to accept it. When the urge comes, and I can breathe through it, then I want to accept that, too.
I want to learn to accept as much pleasure as possible, and to see arousal as pleasure. Ultimately, I want to see everything as a form of pleasure - even pain, even sadness, even loss - or as a form of neutral event that just happens. I doubt that one can get there through an act of resistance, of overpowering. I think the way is through self-acceptance, not force.
I won't be spending much willpower on overcoming an urge. I think overcoming, overpowering is counter-productive. I think willpower is massively overrated in general. It only works in the short run. For long-term success, we need something different, something soft, something flexible, adaptive, flowing - watery, not rocky; seductive rather than violent; a web of silk and trust and comfort, rather than an iron armor.
Reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/
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