I've read a lot of esoteric and religious stuff. I'm forever fascinated by it. I absolutely get the appeal.
I could write books about it. In a way, I try to do just that. My stories revolve around people who believe all kinds of woo. I love those ideas. I love trying to put myself in the head of a true believer. I love to meditate on the effects they have in people's lives - the good and the bad and the just plain weird.
But those stories are fictive, all the magical effects are my inventions.
If several weeks of semen retention made my skin glow, made women come on to me out of nowhere, made my hair softer, my voice heavier, made me need less sleep (source 1, source 2), that would certainly be a hint that something is going on. However, none of that has happened so far.
(Better memory? You gotta be kiddin' me. I have terrible memory. Any tiny little hint that this has improved, would most certainly be well noted by me. If all it took to get better recollection, was abstaining from sex for a little while longer, boy would I go for it!)
What HAS happened, and reliably does happen indeed, is a subjective feeling of increased energy, a better ability to create bliss on the spot by breathing, a deep relaxation. My back is definitely better.
All the effects that are easy to explain by placebo, or by other livestyle changes*), actually appear. Everything that would be tangible evidence of semen retention per se, does not.
Yes, it hasn't been 90 days, but merely ca 20. I maintain there should be at least some visible change by now, if semen retention actually worked.
To me, the conclusion is pretty obvious: Chastity is good practice that will likely enhance your spiritual practice, especially if you combine it with yoga and tantric breathing techniques, and it can surely improve your sexual life. If you kink out on it, so much the better! But it does not change your body, it does not change your character in a fundamental way, it does not magically turn you into a chick magnet, it doesn't give you any superpowers.
I will stay off masturbation for the time being - at least to the end of August. I will keep up this journal till then, just to keep me on track. I will try and go for one ejaculation every 2-3 weeks, so my wife and I can enjoy those glorious moments of togetherness. I think this is a reasonable plan to move forward, given the evidence. I would love nothing more than go for the full 90 days just to have undeniable knowledge, but I simply cannot do that to my marriage, especially not right now given some circumstances in our life right now.
*) not to mention one week of holidays, with yet another ahead. Definitely has an effect.
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