I'm slowly beginning to understand what it means to be emotionally independent. When you realize you have a stable foundation inside, and you need not rely on external factors. When all the annoyance just falls by the... WILL YOU BE QUIET? WILL YOU FUCKING STOP IT WITH YOUR BULLSHIT NOISE ALL THE TIME??? ..., you know, when you experience that calm inside. It's truly lovely. And it really improves the holiday experience.
We had wonderful sex last night. I made my wife cum a few times (more times than ever before actually). I rested in her, didn't cum. I love that way to have sex. Sadly, it can't last forever.
Today, I made a lot of flat maintenance - putting stuff in boxes and stowing them in cupboards. Perfect job for a rainy day, and my back very much appreciates all the exercise. The only downside is, I'm exhausted now.
I feel I'm at a bit of a crossroads. We'll spend the weekend at a good hotel, have a candlelight dinner and get pampered to no end. My wife told me that, me not cumming in her, feels like a tiny bit of a loss to her. As I said, I would love to go on without it for a few more weeks, but on the other hand, I want her to have the best sexual experience she can. She does appreciate all the enthusiasm though. Maybe I'll just see it as a kind of interruption, moreso than an end. Anyway I would like to keep up the journal, to make a note of how I feel afterwards. I might skip the weekend though. Being pampered tends to do that...
It gets down to a decision of priorities. There isn't any drama there. Either way is good, either way is a way forward. I'll just have to decide, that's all.
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