BDSM: So you REALLY want to make your sub suffer, huh? (NSFW, very very VERY NSFW!!!!)

Danger danger danger. NSFW, very very VERY NSFW sadomasostuff ahead!!!! Danger danger danger.

You have been warned.

Here's your sub's new diet, for one week:

SUNDAY

• Breakfast: Porridge, made of water and oats and nothing else, prepared the night before and served at room temperature.
• Lunch: Roasted, unsalted nuts and seeds. Sugar free, low-fat yoghurt
• Dinner: Steamed potatoes. Add assorted body liquids to taste. No salt or spices or anything else.

MONDAY

• Breakfast: Porridge, made of water and oats and nothing else, prepared the night before and served at room temperature.
• Lunch: Steamed brokkoli and brussels sprouts. No salt or spices or anything else of the kind.
• Dinner: Mixed salads, with lemon juice for a dressing. No salt or spices or vinegar or oil or anything else of the kind.

TUESDAY

• Breakfast: Porridge, made of water and oats and nothing else, prepared the night before and served at room temperature.
• Lunch: Steamed mixed vegetables. No salt or spices or anything else of the kind.
• Dinner: Steamed potatoes. Add assorted body liquids to taste. No salt or spices or anything else.

WEDNESDAY

• Breakfast: Porridge, made of water and oats and nothing else, prepared the night before and served at room temperature.
• Lunch: Sugar free, low-fat yoghurt, one apple, one grapefruit.
• Dinner: Steamed lean beef. Add assorted body liquids to taste. No salt or spices or anything else.

THURSDAY

• Breakfast: Porridge, made of water and oats and nothing else, prepared the night before and served at room temperature.
• Lunch: Raw vegetable sticks (from cucumbers and carrots). No salt or spices or anything else of the kind.
• Dinner: A bowl of rice. No salt or spices or anything else.

FRIDAY

• Breakfast: Porridge, made of water and oats and nothing else, prepared the night before and served at room temperature. 
• Lunch: Steamed chicken breast.
• Dinner: Steamed lean fish. Add assorted body liquids to taste. No salt or spices or anything else of the kind.

SATURDAY

• Breakfast: porridge, made of water and oats and nothing else, prepared the night before and served at room temperature.
• Lunch: A bowl of steamed peas, carrots, and potatoes, prepared the night before and served at room temperature.
• Dinner: If they made it, a full-blown steak dinner at a fancy restaurant of the sub's choosing, top's treat. (Otherwise, you're single again, so don't bother.)

For drinks, we offer a rich assortment of tap water, stale weak instant coffee (without milk or sugar), various sorts of stale herbal tea, or pomegranate juice, mixed 1:5 with - you guessed it! - tap water.

After that week, I'm sure they'll beg for your mercy, they'll swear to do everything right, and they'll never again forget the groceries, ever. They'll also have lost about 5 pounds.

Or else, they might go on a 4 week water fast, gain enlightenment, and leave you.

Just in case it's not obvious enough, this is a joke. Do not radically change people's diets willy-nilly, especially not if they are diabetics such as myself, or otherwise deal with chronic illness. A person's diet is nothing to meddle with. I just enjoyed making it up, that's all.

With that disclaimer out of the way, frankly this sounds like a pretty healthy, though not exactly tasty diet for one week. I might give it a try at some point, with a few adjustments for my diabetes, and sans the body liquids.