Monday, December 26, 2016

Update on Chastity

I asked her if she wanted to play on after the next "release". She was more than happy to say yes.

My ring will stay on. So I guess we are officially in a 24/7 D/s relationship now, for whatever it's worth.

I believe she has started to enjoy giving me some pain.

Specifically, she is becoming a maestro of pain to my balls. There is a certain place, I believe it is basically the perineum or a bit above it. If you press on it uite strongly, and apply that pressure between the balls rather than below them, miracles of soft pain, openness, moaning, groaning and sweet delicate helplessness ensue. Well, if you're a lucky bastard like me who is into that perverted sort of thing, at least.

By the way, talking about "release": That's such an ugly, demeaning term! It comes straight out of porn land, where malesubs are under constant oppression and in permanent "frustration".

The deeper my supermodel girlfriend and I go down this specific rabbit-hole, the more I have to disagree with that view. Being chaste and exploring those soft, submissive places in my soul is actually a tremendous amount of fun. I'm often at a point where I don't actually crave an ejaculatory orgasm. Don't get me wrong, I do like it; I enjoy it a lot. It's just not so much the center of attention any more. There's a certain sense of sadness to it: I find this permanent state of heightened sensuality, horniness and slight submissiveness rather relaxing. It makes a whole lot of stuff a lot easier, often trivial things like doing the dishes. If you imagine that you're doing it as a labor of love, as opposed to a stupid chore, it's just easier to do. Self-deception? Sure! But why not? It's good for me, it's good for her, go for it! I'm quite a bit more productive in my creative endeavours, too. I really don't see the downside.

It is becoming less of a game, and more of a lifestyle, but the roleplay aspects remain in the bedroom. I'm on the road towards becoming more real, more myself, and letting go of some of the charade. In a way, I guess, this charade was always the "perverted" part of bdsm to me. Not that roleplaying is a bad thing. But, if you're playing long-term 24/7 games, such as chastity play, you get to realize that there is a difference between childish, fake stage-acts and the actual, real dynamics of your relationship.

I'm starting to think that some form of "chastity play" can be beneficial for a whole lot of relationships. We're not adapted omnipresent instant gratification. The restrictions of old against free love certainly served to keep an extremely oppressive, mysogynistic and misandric, religious regime running. No question about that. But maybe they did that by co-opting an impulse, or a subtle cecognition of something that is actually rather healthy: that unfulfilled sexual desire is a thing to be cherished: just like its cousin, sexual consummation, and like so many other things in life... everthing in moderation, evern moderation itself.

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