Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Cumshots Are Surrealist Masterpieces

I'm not exactly a porn connaisseur. Never have been. Right now, I'm under a somewhat vague rule where I cannot watch or read porn (except if I wrote it myself), but I can watch a short gif, even if it is pornographic in nature. I have to show the most erotic images I find to my girlfriend, so she can enjoy them too. Not quite your classic chaste-sub arrangement, but it works for us.

I digress.

Look, I know that (mainstream) porn is supposed to tittilate heterosexual males. I know it's intended to be seen from his perspective, it is totally degrading for females, somehow that seems to turn a lot of guys on, and all of this is by intention.

I get all that. As long as all participants are consenting adults, the secular state has no business outlawing it, and I'm not moralistic enough to rage against it.

I also get that some women actually do like some rough sex. Some do enjoy anal. Pretty much all of them enjoy showing off their body, at least in front of their intimate partner.

So, a little part of porn is actually somewhat realistic.

Just... not a whole lot of it. Many porn practices are just so absurd, or take exaggeration to the highest possible level; the cumshot is the perfect embodiment of that surrealist absurdity.

In the right context, with some bdsm background, I can well imagine that a few women might enjoy it when a guy splashes his load all over their face.

It is the way this is usually shown in porn which makes me fear the worst for mankind. The sheer enthusiasm that those women try to express by way of severe overacting; the out-of-the-blue nature of the occasion, as if it were completely normal to do such a thing; the odd sterility of a scene set up for one purpose, and one purpose only; the obvious pressure on the guy to perform at just the right time; the awkwardness of bad actors in a job where it is questionable whether good acting would actually improve the, ahem, "quality" of the product... it is just too much. It makes me laugh, rather than wish I was allowed to pleasure myself.

Why would I want to watch another guy cum on the body of an attractive woman? How is that supposed to make me hot? I will never be able to understand that.

I still dream of better erotica; erotica that actually turn me on rather than gross me out. Precious little of those seem to exist. This seems so odd to me. Given the ridiculous amount of media out there, and the extreme niches that already have been explored to a lot of success, there should be a reasonably-sized market for better erotica. Maybe that is just impossible to do, because we're all so neurotic about sex that we have no clue how to? I still dream, though.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Update on Chastity

I asked her if she wanted to play on after the next "release". She was more than happy to say yes.

My ring will stay on. So I guess we are officially in a 24/7 D/s relationship now, for whatever it's worth.

I believe she has started to enjoy giving me some pain.

Specifically, she is becoming a maestro of pain to my balls. There is a certain place, I believe it is basically the perineum or a bit above it. If you press on it uite strongly, and apply that pressure between the balls rather than below them, miracles of soft pain, openness, moaning, groaning and sweet delicate helplessness ensue. Well, if you're a lucky bastard like me who is into that perverted sort of thing, at least.

By the way, talking about "release": That's such an ugly, demeaning term! It comes straight out of porn land, where malesubs are under constant oppression and in permanent "frustration".

The deeper my supermodel girlfriend and I go down this specific rabbit-hole, the more I have to disagree with that view. Being chaste and exploring those soft, submissive places in my soul is actually a tremendous amount of fun. I'm often at a point where I don't actually crave an ejaculatory orgasm. Don't get me wrong, I do like it; I enjoy it a lot. It's just not so much the center of attention any more. There's a certain sense of sadness to it: I find this permanent state of heightened sensuality, horniness and slight submissiveness rather relaxing. It makes a whole lot of stuff a lot easier, often trivial things like doing the dishes. If you imagine that you're doing it as a labor of love, as opposed to a stupid chore, it's just easier to do. Self-deception? Sure! But why not? It's good for me, it's good for her, go for it! I'm quite a bit more productive in my creative endeavours, too. I really don't see the downside.

It is becoming less of a game, and more of a lifestyle, but the roleplay aspects remain in the bedroom. I'm on the road towards becoming more real, more myself, and letting go of some of the charade. In a way, I guess, this charade was always the "perverted" part of bdsm to me. Not that roleplaying is a bad thing. But, if you're playing long-term 24/7 games, such as chastity play, you get to realize that there is a difference between childish, fake stage-acts and the actual, real dynamics of your relationship.

I'm starting to think that some form of "chastity play" can be beneficial for a whole lot of relationships. We're not adapted omnipresent instant gratification. The restrictions of old against free love certainly served to keep an extremely oppressive, mysogynistic and misandric, religious regime running. No question about that. But maybe they did that by co-opting an impulse, or a subtle cecognition of something that is actually rather healthy: that unfulfilled sexual desire is a thing to be cherished: just like its cousin, sexual consummation, and like so many other things in life... everthing in moderation, evern moderation itself.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Acute not-yet-resolved sexual tension at the pub

Yesterday, I got to witness what I can only describe as a scene of intense lust and mutual seduction. Just writing it down makes me drool all over again, while at the same time feeling for our young heroes.

I was with my supermodel girlfriend at one of our favourite pubs. A guy and a girl came in, maybe around 20-25ish, and sat down at the bar. Cute blonde petite girl, and I have no idea what the guy looked like, except for his long brown hair and his beard. I'm sure he was rather good-looking though.

I said to my girlfriend that those two had not yet had sex, but were about to, later tonight. She agreed.

The next time I looked, the girl had her hand dangerously close to the guy's thigh, but not touching, all the while she was talking about whatever they were talking about. The guy did not react to this at all. Then, perfectly in alignment with some punchline in one of her jokes, her fingertips, ever so slightly, touched his knee.

Over an hour or so, that longing physical closeness escalated, ever... so... slowly. Hands touching each other for a second, fingertips touching the outer side of his leg, hand almost stroking him, but not quite. Finally, hand settling on him.

I was amazed by the sheer disconnect between what happened quite literally at face level, and what was really going on below. Smalltalk and jokes and what I'm sure constituted some witty dialogue. And at the same time, physical intimacy that spoke volumes of longing, desire, thrill, seduction, expectation. All of that was made even sweeter, more precious, by the fact that it was the girl chasing the boy this time. I have rarely witnessed this constellation. It was her who was facing towards, him facing the bar. It was her trying to touch, him trying not to be touched too much by the touch.

At some point, they turned towards each other, and his knees ended up a bit between hers. At that point, I guess the whole thing was really settled. The rest was play time, keeping up the appearance, not giving in to temptation all too soon. I am absolutely certain that they left together, and that what I saw was just one small fraction of the main attraction. They still had not kissed, but... Oh boy!

Sadly, my supermodel girlfriend felt that we were invading their privacy a bit, and we left. I coulda watched them for a few hours more without getting bored. It was thrilling like the first season of Battlestar Galactica, and fascinating like pretty much everything to Mr Spock.

And also, calll me insensitive, but I don't see how one invades someone's privacy by just watching them in a public place. I rather like to think that my one and only was a tad jealous.

The Mainstays of "Real" Femdom D/s Relationships

Those are the topics you'll find most often when you browse the internet for femdom field reports, in almost random order:
  • Household chores
  • Garden chores
  • Sissy clothing
  • Cuckolding
  • Pegging
  • Household chores
  • Feminization
  • Garden chores
  • Chastity play
  • Orgasm denial
  • Household chores
  • Garden chores
  • Cock and ball torture
  • Household chores
  • Garden chores
  • Flogging, caning, etc.
  • Punishments
  • Humiliation
  • Household chores
  • Pussy worship
  • Garden chores
  • Washing the dishes
Isn't it odd? The frequency of household chores on that list? It's as if the women in our lives were hellbent on seeing us in tight panties washing the floor in the antechamber, only to then fuck us with a huge strapon.

By the way, if you genderflip it, I'm sure it looks quite a bit different than that.

The Power of the State Compels You

If we define power as, simply, the right and ability of one or some persons to determine the actions and circumstances of one or many other persons, and we define that power not given by consent is abuse or violence - then it follows necessarily that every known society is committing abuse on its citizens.

Who knew.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Another round of no-play

We're back in the game since monday night.

It's been a while.

It is definitely true that I have grown less attentive in my "free" time. Of course, day-to-day life plays its part, but mostly it is like all the chastity connaisseurs say: all work and all play makes a man a dull boy. It's interesting to experience this firsthand.

The rules are:
  1. No cumming, obviously, except on demand.
  2. I may touch myself though, as long as she doesn't explicitly prohibit it.
  3. I may read porn only if I wrote it myself. I must not watch any porn. Images are okay, but if they excite me I lot, she wants to see them too.
  4. She wants frequent kisses.
  5. I will receive some form of attention every day. Many of those might be a bit uncomfortable, but not necessarily every one.
Also, I have a new theory:

I believe that male chastity is a way to get women to pay attention to the males' sexuality. It is the one thing that almost always is completely overlooked, even moreso in conservative, traditional relationships. We're simply supposed to be horny, and to desire our ladies,  and while they may deisre us back, some egocentric urge in us just does not get satisfied this way.

Ironically, chastity helps us be recognized in our sexuality.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Look what i got!

I have a pinterest page now!

Being an atheist is okay. So is shaming religions.

The following text is certainly appropriate for this time of year:

It says:

Being an atheist is okay.

Being an atheist and shaming religions and spirituality as silly and not real is not okay.

Being a Christian is okay.

Being homophobic, misogynistic, racist or an otherwise hateful person and blaming it on your religion is not okay.
Being a reindeer is okay. Bullying and excluding another reindeer because he has a shiny red nose is not okay.

Whoever posted this, has yet to learn the difference between an ideology and a person.

Religions and spirituality are silly and not real. We can disagree about that, but why would it not be okay to point it out?

The wording is clearly bad, too. You cannot shame a religion. It's a system of thought. It has no rights or feelings.

Shaming religious or spiritual people, on the other hand, is certainly wrong. Not only is it not okay in the ethical sense, it is factually incorrect, plain and simple.