Sunday, December 16, 2012

"How To Change Your Beliefs And Your Identity" follow-up

Dear Stefan Pylarinos,

yes, blocking people who are skeptical about your claims and ask you to provide the proof you claim on your website, as well as removing their comments from your youtube videos, sure speaks to your professional attitude, success as a self-help guru and personal decency.

I guess we have settled that issue, haven't we?

To be fair, there has been one person claiming that she did get rid of her bipolar disorder by practicing emotion management. Her name is Tieu Nguye, and here is her comment at the youtube video. However, she doesn't claim that she used your method, and her claim is very vague and generalized.

I never doubted that emotion management has good effects; I'm doubting that your outrageous claims are true, that you actually have the proof you claim, that you ever cared to actually test your own claims, and that you can provide "hundreds of examples" of people who experienced fast, radical and lasting change by applying your method.


bet lamed


  1. I looked at the video you're responding to and he removed my (admittedly mocking) comment. Never checked to see if I was banned. I also looked at the six step program you linked to that he advocates. It's the same redecision work/inner child work that I did in some group and individual therapy. Yes, there are useful insights to be made by doing that sort of work. But after some initial insights, I found it stagnated, and stopped the practice as it no longer provided help. Meditation proved more useful. Of all the men in the group who used the techniques, I can't say any of them had a radical, long-lasting change because of it. At best, it's just another tool that may provide a few insights. Not a cure all, and not fast. i was also troubled by the "splitting aspect" of this work. It may be useful as a temporary perspective, but I would wonder about making a long term habit out of seeing yourself as two emotional states? Overcoming a lifetime of thought habits and behaviour patterns is a long hard road for most of us.

    1. Indeed, it is a long hard road. And I'd much rather learn from guys like you and me who honestly share their real experiences, than from a guru who sells "super secret proven 5 step emotional mastery techniques" and has to conform to the pressure of a market, whether he likes that or not. Ever since our friend on youtube started to accept (and probably deliberately create) his guru status, he is cursed to do everything to keep the illusion alive. I'm certain he doesn't see this as a problem right now, and instead enjoys it tremendously - but there is some truth in the buddhist idea that the gods are subject to karma, too, and that it is not necessarily the best position to be in. I predict he will be extremely lonesome at some point, because all his relationships will depend on his high status and he can never allow himself to be sad or exhausted. What happens once he can't maintain this image anymore, I don't even want to imagine.

      What you say about that technique is exactly my general experience, and is what I'm trying to point out: yes, things do work - no, they're never a magic pill.

      And then, my goal is not a few people making more money, even if I were among those people - it's about contributing to a culture in which emotions and emotional issues are taken seriously, and where it is simply standard to know how to deal with that in some way. Cause that's the culture in which I want to live, and I suspect that it's a more peaceful and productive, and less violent society.

  2. PS - I just went to the guy's website and saw the "Everything happens for a reason and a purpose and it serves you". I restrained myself from leaving a nasty comment. Like - So...Ukraine mother and baby during WW2 shot in the head by the Nazis. Reason and purpose is????

    Or maybe twenty children shot in Conneticutt school by insone gunman...reason and purpose is????

    Twelve years old? Got terminal cancer? Reason and purpose is???

    The real sick part is he's probably say something like "well, these things happen to make us appreciate life more". Just once I'd like one of these "everything happens for a reason" people to have to answer to the people that the awful things are happening TO that he's using to prop up his fantasy. Tell the Ukraine mother that it's really sad her and her child have to die, but we'll all be sure to take an important lesson from her senseless death.