A few weeks ago, a friend stayed at my place for the night. At one point, he complained about his lacking performance in bed. In short, he felt that he didn't have enough lasting erections.
My reaction was so immediate, it almost surprised myself. Erections come and go. They're not necessary for anyone's satisfaction. Sure we should have them... sometimes. But not always. If you do a tantric ritual... hey, you cannot honestly expect yourself to be hard for two hours straight! And quite apart from that, a soft penis is way more sensitive than a hard-on.
So I tried to explain just that to him. The next surprise, to me, was HIS immediate and rather intense reaction. He said that that was what sex was about, after all... penetration, and therefore erection.
I couldn't really convince him. But I feel sad for people like that... and of course, this means that I feel sad for about 75% or so of the males on this planet. And for their partners, male or female.
But of course, I feel proud of having gotten out of this destructive mindset (at least partially). It was a long and winding road, I can tell you that! It was all worth it, of course.
And after all, who knows, maybe I said something that my friend didn't yet understand, but that will come back to him in some form later on. We are all entitled to doing things in our own way, and in our own timing.