tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54280321084232736272024-03-06T09:16:10.927+01:00Skeptic TantrikaEmpathy. Rationality. Sensuality.betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.comBlogger328125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-56869243147532234082023-01-09T10:50:00.001+01:002023-01-09T10:50:17.625+01:00A survey on YOUR sexual abstinence practice. Wanna take part?<p>I created a <a href="https://s.surveyplanet.com/gugefmi6">survey</a> about sexual abstinence practices. It is designed to be as encompassing as I could manage (though I am sure I missed some potential aspects).<br /><br />I created it strictly to satisfy my own curiosity. I will post the results here after about a month, some time in February, 2023. (The results will not be published until after the survey is closed, so as to not skew the data.)<br /><br />It consists of 21 questions, so it should only take 5-10 minutes to participate.</p><p>The survey is intended for the practitioners of some kind of abstinence practice - nofap, tantra, semen retention, etc.</p><p>Thanks for taking part!</p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-31322620308768368682022-12-02T15:22:00.004+01:002022-12-02T15:22:45.547+01:00What works for me...<p>After not-ejaculating for two months (many years ago), after 213 days of nofap, I have some good news and some bad news for you. However, whether the news is good or bad, depends on your current position in life, your goals, and your personal ideology.<br /><br />I can't claim to know that any of this is universally true, it all comes from my own experience, my reading-list and my biases. I won't bother to preface every single sentence with a disclaimer. When I say "you", it is just a figure of speech, a generalisation of my own experiences. **Your experience may differ.** If some part of this seems to work for you, great! Embrace it, leave a comment, move on. If you disagree with something, fine! Leave a comment if you like. <b>Find your own path!</b><br /></p><h3 style="text-align: left;">On to the list...</h3><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>You can experience bliss, right now, as soon as you let go of some misconceptions and do a few simple exercises.</li><li>You do not have to change your beliefs to experience bliss.</li><li>The simpler, the better!</li><li>SMILE! As much as you can. Even if you don't feel like it. *Especially* when you don't feel like it. It will improve your mood.</li><li>The most fundamental, most important practice, is breathing. There are many different breathing techniques.</li><li>Do one minute of very deep breathing, slightly forceful, in through the nose and out through the mouth.</li><li>DO IT RIGHT NOW!</li><li><b>RIGHT NOW, I SAID!!!</b></li><li>LOL.</li><li>You will experience resistance. (Trust me. You will. It's the one thing I believe is absolutely true for everybody.) Your mind will tell you that this is all just imagination, it cannot possibly help you in the long run, you're not worth it, and so on. This is probably one of the most widespread experiences.</li><li>Regular exercises and long walks improve the mood much more than I ever imagined.</li><li>Engage the muscles! Specifically, the belly and inner thighs.</li><li>Make [PC muscle exercises](https://www.wikihow.com/Do-PC-Muscle-Exercises).</li><li>Meditation is a great tool. The more regular, the better.</li><li>Yoga will teach you to be mindful of your movements - i.e., co-ordinate breathing with muscle-tension and thinking.</li><li>In order to visualize "energy", you do not have to believe in it.</li><li>Cold water seems to help regulate dopamine, relieve anxieties and improve mood. (I cannot do cold showers, sadly, because they give me cramps. I do cold half-showers, and they are helpful, too.)</li><li>Nofap / SR are great supporting practices, as they will give you more discipline, more confidence, and great insights into yourself.</li><li>The less social media, the better.</li><li>Have a backup plan for when you "fail". Knowing how to get back on track is more important than never getting off track.</li><li>View it all as one big, fun experiment.</li><li>Journalling can help keep you straight and honest. If you strive for physical changes, take a photo every day.</li><li>View input from others as inspiration, not binding instructions.</li><li>That goes for this posting too, of course.</li><li>Always remain skeptical of all methods, especially if you feel like they are silver bullets and can help all of humanity. Chances are they are not, and they can not. Silver bullets do not exist. Be content if you found something that helps you. It's more than most people ever get.</li><li>If you find something that seems to work for you, try it for a week, then two, then commit to a longer experiment.</li><li>Always try out new things. Always improve your own method.</li><li><b>Find your own path.</b></li></ol><p style="text-align: left;"></p><h3 style="text-align: left;">Sidenote:</h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Self-hypnosis, NLP, and other such stuff have helped me a lot.... but I had to get ready first. It's hard to know when it's time to delve into such things. I'd recomment you avoid the rabbit-holes that can come with them - specifically the pickup/PUA/seduction communities, which are rife with misogyny, inceldom and just plain B.S.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"> (First posted <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/zajnjd/what_really_works/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on reddit</a>.) <br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-29000968962128437852022-01-20T12:48:00.002+01:002022-01-20T12:48:33.510+01:00The rules I try to follow<p>For whatever it might be worth to anybody else, here are some rules I try to implement in my own life:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Don't obsess over what you can not change. <br /></li><li>Judge ideas and actions, not people and personalities.</li><li>Rather than "good" and "evil", try to use more nuanced metrics, such as "more or less useful", "more or less harmful".</li><li>Try to see both sides. <br /></li><li>Be mindful.</li><li>Breathe deep.</li><li>Synchronize movements to the breath.<br /></li><li>Be open to bliss.</li></ul><p>As a meta-rule, I try to see these "rules" as practices, rather than precepts.</p><p>This meta-rule is probably the most important of them all, because it helps me not measure myself against an ideal that is impossible to reach.<br /></p><p>They are general guidelines for a life that makes myself and those around me happy. Needless to say, I don't always adhere to them - I try to get better.<br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-31580925098572578962021-11-18T13:51:00.002+01:002021-11-18T13:51:08.163+01:00(No?) nut november: Day 18. Simple habits, hard to establish.<p> As a long-time meditation practitioner, I marvel from time to time why meditation is so surprisingly hard to establish.<br /><br />I get why daily workout is hard. It's work. It makes you sweat. You have to suffer for the good bits. I find myself doing streaks of daily workout, which then get interrupted by work stress, sickness or a few days of low energy - and then weeks of just nothing. Then I get terrible back aches, and I get back into the habit (unless the back ache makes it completely impossible, which sadly only occurs more frequently with age).<br /><br />Even nofap... on the surface it seems like it's just "doing nothing", but to resist your urges and go against the spur of the moment - I think this is quite an activity. There is an effort.<br /><br />But meditation, qi-gong, breathing deep and with intent - all of those are next to no work. You don't have to do hours and hours either. Just sit in your bed for 10 minutes each day. Still... there always seems to be an excuse.<br /><br />I meditated an hour each day before work, for a year. It was good, but I stopped doing it because I found out that sleep is actually more important. I meditate (informally) each night before bed anyway. So why not just sit up, fold my hands (which I know from experience is a good thing), and turn it into formal meditation? Just a few minutes each night.<br /><br />Just thinking about it, already calms me down.<br /><br />This is an honest question, by the way. I'm not being rhetorical here. I've heard the same experience from a few people. I'm actually more fascinated by this, than I am complaining about it. It makes me wonder what is going on there.<br /><br />The same with breathing deep. I need to make time for that, remind myself of it, make a conscious effort. My body never simply does it all on its own. It never became a habit.<br /><br />Somehow, insanely useful, insanely simple, almost effortless practices have a weird tendency to fall by the wayside for seemingly no reason.<br /><br />The buddhist explanation is that the monkey mind just doesn't want to shut up. I don't believe in buddhism, but I think that there might be some anxiety around being completely "alone" with your own mind. That there really is an ego-part that is afraid it might vanish in silence. All the things that you hide even from yourself, might crop up when you close your eyes and just sit. All the fears might take a hold of you. Our stories might be the only thing that keeps us from disappearing.<br /><br />However, as i said, I have been meditating for years. My own experience tells me that this never ever happens. It never feels anything but blissful. So why does experience - personal, up close, real experience - never trump that resistance?</p><p><span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">Source: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">r/Joyful_Chastity </a></span><br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-90910665442579943162021-11-17T13:34:00.001+01:002021-11-17T13:34:08.818+01:00(No?) nut november: Day 17. Theory and practice.<p> Sometimes I wonder about our apparent attachment to ideas.<br /><br />It is insane, and it makes a whole lot of trouble - from relationship fights, up to wars between nations.<br /><br />There was a time when I was quite into zen, and tried to actively disengage from all concepts. I also meditated regularly.<br /><br />This worked rather nicely.<br /><br />Still, I find myself attached a lot to theories these days - or to debunking other people's theories, which amounts to the same thing.<br /><br />What happened?<br /><br />Well... life happened. You find some things interesting, some things matter to you, some things seem unbearably wrong and stupid and destructive. The global climate of partisanship got a hold of me. Social media impacted me, the pandemic, climate change, national politics... all the things that affect us all.<br /><br />Last night, I was lying down to sleep. Lots of good ideas for my novel seemed to float around in my head. My breathing exercises went great. I felt wonderful.<br /><br />I thought: I want to put more focus back on practice. Not theorize about the outcome so much. As far as I remember, when I steadfastly refused to think about where the practice might lead me, I felt liberation, relief, bliss.<br /><br />Maybe our need for theory comes from a lack of trust in our practice.<br /><br />Good old buddhist saying comes to mind: You can choose to be happy, or choose to be right - but not both at the same time.<br /><br />Then again... theorizing is so much fun. Oh crap!</p><p> </p><p><span></span></p><a name='more'></a> <p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">Source: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">r/Joyful_Chastity </a></span><br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-68634338608188846722021-11-10T10:58:00.008+01:002021-11-10T10:58:46.814+01:00(No?) nut november: Day 10. Research and religious nutbaggery<p> First, this is completely OT. It has zero to do with abstinence and NNN.<br /><br />Second: Confession time! I have a weird love for religious nutbags, occultism, esotericism, all that stuff. I love religion in general (as an atheist and skeptic myself), but specifically, I love when it's obviously ridiculous, alarmist, and stupid.<br /><br />Obviously, my novel deals with just those topics, plus femalde dominance and tantra. So I get to do a lot of fun websurfing under the guise of "research".<br /><br />Anyway, here are some fun links that I found just today:<br /><br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://pamsheppardpublishing.com/2011/10/06/deliverance-and-the-7-chakras/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The chakras are demonic doorways!!!111</a></li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AnL9M4SMg0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Yoga poses are hindu worship and forbidden to christians</a> - also see <a href="https://www.kialo.com/36249.127?action=comments" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this kialo discussion</a></li><li><a href="https://praisemoves.com/about-praisemoves/why-a-christian-alternative-to-yoga/yoga-postures-are-offerings-to-hindu-gods/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Christianity and yoga don't mix</a> - also, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsxM8y4lfPs" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Christian yoga is a thing</a>, albeit a rather dull one.</li></ul><p> <span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Source: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/qqqubf/no_nut_november_day_10_research_and_religious/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">my own reddit posting</a>)</span></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-4474140119735427182021-11-10T10:08:00.001+01:002021-11-10T10:08:26.104+01:00My obsession with semen retention<p>Being chaste feels good for me, at least for a while. It creates heightened horniness (duh), and if you know to "transmute" this through tantric exercises, then that can create a truly wonderful state of bliss. It gives me a sense of being in control, able to overcome my urges. After about a week, it always feels like this is it. I'm going to do this forever. But this never lasts. Inevitably, the elevation passes, life just gets in the way, and the "streak" is over.<br />
<br />
Obviously, while I get on another one of those chastity binges, I tend to hop onto reddit and peruse <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Semenretention" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">r/semenretention</a>.<br />
<br />
I have a love/hate relationship with that forum.<br />
<br />
My love is that I feel for those guys. They honestly try to improve themselves. I imagine that many come from a place of despair and self-loathing.<br />
<br />
Based on my experience, I conclude that 60 days days of not cumming, and 90 days, or even 213 days of not wanking, do not reliably produce any better performance, increased attractiveness, better skin, or really any change at all. It did not do that for me. Back when I did that, I didn't even know any of the claims of semen retention, so I'd say that it was a pretty good experiment. If girls had suddenly started swooning over me, you bet I'd have noticed.<br />
</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">(from <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">r/Joyful_Chastity</a>)</span><br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-73524606830767729762021-11-08T10:37:00.000+01:002021-11-08T10:37:01.234+01:00Awfully quiet, I have been<p> I haven't posted here in a long time.</p><p>For the most part, I now put my day-to-day ramblings in my very own subreddit, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity</a> . It just feels a bit easier to post there.<br /></p><p>I mostly post when I'm on a nofap streak. Here is <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/lndcbq/day_31_mindfulness_twitter_chastity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the first in a serious of posts</a> I did in my longest streak so far.<br /><br />Here is <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/qjni2f/no_nut_november_day_0/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">my post</a> on the day before I started No Nut November.</p><p>I will duplicate some of the posts on here, that I feel might contain generally useful information.</p><p>I ponder whether I should create an e-book from my postings next year. A good way to clean up and collect the more useful thoughts I had.<br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-72569656584685672021-04-18T20:25:00.005+02:002021-11-09T20:28:20.271+01:00Streak of Early 2021 - Day 89: Unio Mystica<p> Yesterday, I experienced something that I think mystics would have called <em>unio mystica</em>.
It was beautiful, brilliant, ecstatic... but that's not the essence of
it. I don't think the essence of it can be expressed in words... the
closest I can get is that it was deeply <em>paradoxical</em>. And it lasted all through the day.</p><div class="usertext-body may-blank-within md-container "><div class="md">
<p>I was very sexually aroused, without touching. But there was no urge
to satisfy. I don't mean that I suppressed it or overcame it... there
just was nothing to overcome. The state was extremely pleasurable.</p>
<p>It was a bit like I was perpetually in the state of orgasm, without ending.</p>
<p>It felt like mind-fog, but I was actually rather focused. I was very productive, though it felt like I didn't do a lot.</p>
<p>I was beyond myself, and yet I have rarely before felt so much in tune with myself.</p>
<p>There was no worry, no fear, not even the possibility of needs. It was non-action, dao, a little peek into moksha or awakening.</p>
<p>Not that I deluded myself into thinking I was actually enlightened. It was just a peek. And that is perfectly fine.</p>
<p>Eveything was just what it was.</p>
<p>It was brilliant.</p>
<p>And it created a craving, or rather a longing, for more of it in my life.</p>
<p>It's probably the most powerful motivation I ever felt.</p><p> </p><p><span></span></p><a name='more'></a> <p></p><p>(from <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">r/Joyful_Chastity</span></a>) <br /></p>
</div>
</div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-84681492440036143582020-10-28T16:40:00.001+01:002020-10-29T14:27:45.516+01:00Review: "Bliss of the Celibate", by Julian Lee (1998)<p style="text-align: left;">This is one of those that I waded through, so you don't have to. It is also is one of those you will find referenced, again and again, in
the semenretention community, as a
"foundational text" of sorts.</p><p style="text-align: left;">As in so many texts of an esoteric or religious nature, the main epistemic methods applied in this book are free association, unfounded claims, and working backwards from the conclusion.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Lee has read some buddhist and hindu books, has collected whatever floated his boat, and cooked a big old stew from all that. Add one (1) bible passage (Mt 19:12), and you have apparently proven that Jesus taught yoga, was celibate, and that the catholic church gleaned its power from - you guessed it - celibacy. Formal citations or syllogistic arguments are something to sneer at and avoid at all costs, it would seem.</p><p style="text-align: left;">He claims that celibacy is necessary for any and all achievements, ranging from the simple to the highly complex, from personal and social, from culture to enlightenment. He explicitly states that "<span>[w]ithout the highest sexual morality, no other morality is possible. The keeping of
no other law is possible. No social order is possible. No human culture is possible." When a male has an orgasm, or even so much as focuses too much on the female form, everything is lost. The only solution is celibacy. He recognizes, at least, that there are two paths: complete renunciation, and gradual evolution towards that lofty goal.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;">The closest Lee ever comes to an actual argument, is when he claims that males lose energy through semen the same way that women lose energy in menstruation. Why this is supposed to be the case, is anyone's guess. It's in the old scriptures, it is in Julian Lee's head, therefore it has to be true. As proof, he names the usual: males appear tired after orgasm. He claims that males have a form of "PMS" for at least 24 hours - you may or may not agree. If you disagree, then the whole book is moot.<br /></p><p>Lee doesn't offer any practical advice, except for meditation. He dismisses all of tantra and - in an oddly specific twist - decries the Yoga Journal, rejects "new agers", progressives, and people
who dislike George Bush (junior or senior, he doesn't say). He goes on a long rant against those groups, culmitating in the curious proclamation that "the average Christian, because he at least retains some
morals regarding sex, is actually much closer to the Yogic path than most "new
agers.""</p><p>He knows that "transmutation is necessary for celibacy", but he doesn't tell us how to transmute. Nor does he seem to be aware of the distinction between orgasm and ejaculation (no wonder, since he rejects tantra). Orgasm means expulsion of the all-valuable "pearls" (a term he uses quite consistently) and shakti, and that creates all evils in the world - while celibacy creates everything good.</p><p>As in most texts on the topic, the female part of the species play next to no role at all - not even as guides for men; they only exist as seducers to men and thieves of his shakti-induced powers. Homosexuality is a grave sin (stemming from, you guessed it, masturbation), and nonbinary sexuality doesn't exist at all. There is an extreme black and white morality at play - renunciation is good, lust is bad, sex is only for procreation.<br /></p><p></p><p>Not all in this book is totally bad - at times, it can be quite inspiring:</p><p>"When you become entirely devoted to the Lord of Creation, All of creation becomes
devoted to you." At least, that's nice! However, these cases are few and far between. All in all, it is a terrible book, not innovative, boring, trite and conservative.<br /></p><p>There are a lot of quotes from Patanjali, Paramahansa
Yogananda (his favourite author of all), and buddhist Suttras. So if nothing else, one can use it as a kind of reference for looking stuff up.</p><p>The book is mostly interesting because, as stated above, it is one of the "foundational texts" of semen-retention. It just goes to show that the movement is steeped in hindu and buddhist religiosity, political and social conservatism, vitalism, sexism and steadfast animosity against intellectual debate and rationality.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">How it might be improved:</h3><p>Apart from the obvious - add some rational arguments as to why celibacy is supposed to do all those good things - the book would benefit tremendously from some empathy and guidance for newcomers. Lee offers nothing in the way of practical exercises, and it is somewhat hard to see why any penis-owner should take it upon themselves to refrain from any and all orgasms, possibly for the rest of his life. (Women, by the way, would seemingly get to cum all they want... an obvious conclusion from the premises, but I wonder if Lee saw it.) Just for "living in accordance with" some undefined "great universal Law", probably will not cut it. Speaking of cutting, cutting out a few of the rants would make the thing a lot easier to read.<br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-90459075606679948462020-10-28T09:07:00.002+01:002020-10-28T09:08:35.446+01:00A Weekend of Dominance and Submission<p>I haven't talked about the bdsm aspects of my journey an awful lot on this blog. Probably because the connection between submission, tantra and spirituality was still kind of blurry for me.<br /></p><p>Anyway, last weekend, my wonderful wife and I engaged in one of our D/s weekends.<br /><br />As always, I served her every need. I did the groceries and prepared the meals, I gave her footbaths and foot massages, I pampered her in any way possible. Adored her, cherished her, whispered all possible sweet nothings I could fathom.<br /><br />Come sexy time, there was a lot of kneeling in the nude, there was biting and scratching, ballbusting and other fun stuff I won't mention to protect the guilty.<br /><br />I got to experience what bdsm folks call "flying". It's an incredible feeling, and I highly recommend it - only, you have to be a masochist to enjoy it, terribly sorry for the rest of you poor souls out there!<br /><br />I ate her out whenever she wanted (which can never be often enough for my delicate taste!).<br /><br />When I was allowed inside her, I absolutely refrained from cumming.<br /><br />In many ways, this is the best part. The karezza folks really seem to be right about that - for whatever hormonal reason, it creates an incredible sense of intimacy and connection. It feels like falling in love again for the first time, only about a hundred times more intense and rewarding, more conscious, more "I hand myself over" than the "knock-on-the-head inevitable" style you see in the movies.<br /><br />Am I weird in thinking about 1 Co 11 in that context? ἐν τῇ νυκτὶ ᾗ παρεδίδετο... Yes, definitely weird! The good kind thereof.<br /><br />I'm still on a high. Every breath fills me with insane bliss, coupled with the best form of horniness you can find. It's truly amazing.<br /><br />Of course, all of this is only possible because we build on the trust and connection forged in almost 8 years of relationship - all the troubles, ups and downs, tragedies and accidents small and large. You can't build this overnight. You can't have it with a total stranger. Not to knock one-night stands, everything has it's own advantages - that's just not one of them.<br /><br />I love the idea that my kinks, my interest in chastity and nofap, can be part of building up this larger thing, this together-thing, this beautiful manifestation of love. I always somehow wanted that. I always thought that it was inside this whole kink thing, somehow, somewhere... and now I know.<br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-28192268676778416292020-08-20T09:38:00.008+02:002020-08-20T09:40:43.170+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 31: A whole month<p>Funny feeling. July 19th was the last time I wanked off. In the meantime, I had two orgasms with my wife, and three times had sex without cumming.<br /><br />A whole month. Of course, it's just an arbitrary number, but the way the human mind works, it feels special. There is some pride, but more than that there is a deep kind of satisfaction. When you abstain from something -- something you thought you needed, whatever it is, I guess -- it gives you a deeper understanding of your wants and needs. You connect with something important that way. It removes a barrier. Something like "opening up a chakra", to use one of those esoteric metaphors. Conferring with your angel. Moving up the Tree of Life. I'm sure every religion, every culture has its own cherished expressions for it.<br /><br />It becomes easier to differentiate your superficial wants from your actual needs. You have already experienced that you can live without it, so you can now focus on what really matters.<br /><br />I'm back at work. The huge advantage is that I drink less. I never went for complete abstinence, but during vacations it tends to escalate a bit, and it's good to go back to normal.<br /><br />Now the big challenge ahead: Apply the skill of mindful enjoyment to other areas. Maybe it is possible to eat less, eat healthier and more ecological, without engaging in willpower excesses, and while enjoying the food even more. Maybe the same goes for alcohol, for youtube, for a lot of things I'm not even aware of yet...<br /><br />Maybe there is resistance to all those joys, based on self-loathing and deeply ingrained capitalist "ethics".<br /><br />Maybe I should start to emply the "matrix" metaphor, "red pill" myself and become a total conspiracy nutjob, lol. In the general public's eye, it would be quite a fit...<br /><br />I guess I got used to it by now. It seems like I don't really want to masturbate anymore -- ever. At the same time, I know from previous streaks that this, too, will pass. And that is perfectly fine.<br /><br />Do not get attached to non-attachment!</p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-74237937458346234682020-08-15T15:52:00.001+02:002020-08-15T15:52:05.440+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 27: Not a lot to sayIt is perfectly fine to not have a lot to say. The journey is through calmer waters now. Next week it's back to the treadmill, I only hope it won't be too stressful. I had some weird dreams, but that's quite normal for me. I don't believe they mean a thing, even though I've been dream-journalling for decades and would have much loved to find a pattern or predictive powers or anything of that sort.
So yeah, working on my story, breathing in breathing out, watching the remaining cat hang around in the sun. Saturday afternoon.betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-10213606368682890962020-08-13T16:48:00.000+02:002020-08-13T16:48:08.320+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 25: Dealing with anxiety<p>A few things happened, and in the end I woke up this morning with a bad case of anxiety.<br /><br />The interesting thing about those bad emotional places is that you can leave them... if you just do stuff. Tidy up the flat a bit. Write a few sentences of that novel. Go for a little walk. Do "just a bit", and that tends to expand into something bigger, and then that makes you feel better. That's why I like a writing method that lets me jump around and add a bit here, a bit there. It is much easier to get back into, if you can't write on a very regular schedule.<br /><br />Next step: Breathe and accept the anxiety...</p><p> </p><hr /><p> </p><p>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a> <br /></p>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-84309550626746447562020-08-11T11:12:00.002+02:002020-08-11T11:12:29.136+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 23: The sad partAfter a wonderful, wonderful weekend in an expensive hotel, which obviously involved some glorious sex, we came home yesterday to find one of our cats in the hall, soiled and paralyzed. It turned out that a blood clot had formed in his leg. He didn't even touch a bowl of sweet corn we gave him. It seemed he had already given up. He had a heart condition, which we only just thought we had beat.<br /><br />So the rest of the day didn't go exactly as planned. We gave him as much love as we possibly could. We drove to put our snuggly, anxious, purr-purr-meowing cat down, then brought him to the mortician, which turned out quite a journey, to get him cremated.<br /><br />The act itself was fast and virtually painfree: First the narcosis, which got him to sleep in a second, then the poison. One last breath, and off he was to cat heaven, where he now eats prawn and corn all day, has as many hiding places as he could wish for, where nobody can ever disturb him, no strangers and no evil vacs to scare him.<br /><br />We had a good dinner in his name, wrote down everything we remembered - his various pet names, habits, favourite foods, all the joyful moments we had with him. We'll make a foto album for the memories.<br /><br />Tonight, my wife will bring our other cat to the doctor to have surgery for his skin cancer. Let's hope for the best! He has epilepsy, so there is a risk, and the cancer might have spread - but we'll just say it will work out fine, shall we. We can't lose both cats in the same week!!<br /><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br />betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-27426079217934820472020-08-08T09:55:00.003+02:002020-08-08T09:55:59.836+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 20: The HeatThere are times on this journey when the energy gets overwhelmingly strong. It feels incredibly good, but at the same time, you're very much overpowered and can do nothing but surrender.<br /><br /><div>A good thing it's a saturday and I don't have to go to work.</div><div><br /></div>I can totally imagine a situation where I would wank off just to get rid of the heat. Just so I could get some work done.<br /><br />It's very blissful. Remember my older solemn tantric oath: Give in to it. Feel it through and through. Surrender to it. Own it. Make it mine, or rather make me its. Give in. And just like that, the angst and the anxiety vanish, and it is all good.<br /><br />There is no need to fight it. There is no need to do anything but accept. This is what is, right now.<br /><br />It is quite unspeakable. It's like my body is filled with pleasure and lust, desire and satisfaction rolled up into one. It's a tingling and a heat and a little dizziness. It starts from the spine, spreads through my belly and chest, into my arms and legs, even the head.<br /><br /><div>I revel in the knowledge that there is no supernatural. Imagining this to be an entity of its own, with a will separate from my own, doing stuff to me that I cannot control, and potentially will never stop, would be quite unsettling.</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-70081015412114009112020-08-07T15:55:00.000+02:002020-08-07T15:55:00.874+02:00Channeling the energy<div>I channel my pent up energy into my writing. Sublimation FTW. Quite interesting, how the mind works.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I copy a very old Tarot journal (from 2003!) into my computer. It is so interesting to see, what I thought back then, how I related, how it's all about finding a girlfriend, and a lot about that one particular girl with BPD who had made me so unhappy. It's quite the trip.</div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-32560369237589539602020-08-07T12:15:00.001+02:002020-08-07T12:15:50.569+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 19: Preliminary ConclusionsSometimes it would be nice to believe: That there is actually a deeper level. A higher consciousness. The universe as a conscious being. There is a power. If you perform a specific ritual, it actually has supernatural effects. The wonderful feelings in my spine are real energy and can be directed to perform healing, effect change in the real world, make me enlightened.<br /><br />I've read a lot of esoteric and religious stuff. I'm forever fascinated by it. I absolutely get the appeal.<br /><br />I could write books about it. In a way, I try to do just that. My stories revolve around people who believe all kinds of woo. I love those ideas. I love trying to put myself in the head of a true believer. I love to meditate on the effects they have in people's lives - the good and the bad and the just plain weird.<br /><br />But those stories are fictive, all the magical effects are my inventions.<br /><br />If several weeks of semen retention made my skin glow, made women come on to me out of nowhere, made my hair softer, my voice heavier, made me need less sleep (<a href="https://mrmindblowing.com/benefits-of-semen-retention/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">source 1</a>, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Semenretention/comments/822evv/the_ultimate_semen_retention_guide_faq/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">source 2</a>), that would certainly be a hint that something is going on. However, none of that has happened so far.<br /><br />(<i>Better memory?</i> You gotta be kiddin' me. I have terrible memory. Any tiny little hint that this has improved, would most certainly be well noted by me. If all it took to get better recollection, was abstaining from sex for a little while longer, boy would I go for it!)<br /><br />What HAS happened, and reliably does happen indeed, is a subjective feeling of increased energy, a better ability to create bliss on the spot by breathing, a deep relaxation. My back is definitely better.<br /><br /><b>All the effects that are easy to explain by placebo, or by other livestyle changes*), actually appear. Everything that would be tangible evidence of semen retention per se, does not.</b><br /><br />Yes, it hasn't been 90 days, but merely ca 20. I maintain there should be at least some visible change by now, if semen retention actually worked.<br /><br />To me, the conclusion is pretty obvious: Chastity is good practice that will likely enhance your spiritual practice, especially if you combine it with yoga and tantric breathing techniques, and it can surely improve your sexual life. If you kink out on it, so much the better! But it does not change your body, it does not change your character in a fundamental way, it does not magically turn you into a chick magnet, it doesn't give you any superpowers.<br /><br />I will stay off masturbation for the time being - at least to the end of August. I will keep up this journal till then, just to keep me on track. I will try and go for one ejaculation every 2-3 weeks, so my wife and I can enjoy those glorious moments of togetherness. I think this is a reasonable plan to move forward, given the evidence. I would love nothing more than go for the full 90 days just to have undeniable knowledge, but I simply cannot do that to my marriage, especially not right now given some circumstances in our life right now.<br /><br /><hr /><br /><div>*) not to mention one week of holidays, with yet another ahead. Definitely has an effect.</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-70530102088211484252020-08-06T07:13:00.001+02:002020-08-06T07:13:18.419+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 18: When desire hits......give in to it!<br /><br />Good thing I'm staying home today, for the most part (we're visiting friends tonight, first time since c* - haven't seen them in over 6 months).<br /><br />Here's the challenge: When the urge comes, give in to it. Absolutely, deeply, completely hand yourself over.<br /><br />The catch? Don't jerk off. Don't even touch yourself. Breathe deep. Inhale horniness, exhale pure lust.<br /><br />Jerking off is not giving in to the urge. Jerking off is the opposite. Jerking off is an attempt to end the urge, scratch it away like an itch.<br /><br />But a self-respecting itch doesn't end there. It is stronger than you, and much more intelligent! It comes back with a vengeance. Fighting it does not work. What works (I hope) is completely accepting it, stepping deep into the fire, clothing myself with it, transforming unbearable yearning into satisfaction and delight merely by realizing that that is its real nature.<br /><br />I think that this might be the actual hidden wisdom of tantra: that lust, desire, and rejection can be used as pathways to insight - as opposed to the consensus buddhist view *), which sees them as mere obstacles. That ultimate satisfaction is a seed buried within desire itself, not achieved through fulfilment, but found through acceptance, by looking close enough.<br /><br />I had a very bad night. Didn't get to sleep, then woke from a nightmare, then woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. Looking forward to that construction work, yay! But, maybe right because I'm so bleary-eyed, I'm also on the verge of orgasm without even doing anything. So this may turn out to be the day I end the streak just so I can get some sleep - or, it ends up the day on which I discover something completely new and sensational... of which you, my dear reader - if you indeed exist - would get to read tomorrow.<br /><br />We'll see. Oh, we shall see!<br /><br /><hr /><br /><div>*) term shamelessly stolen from <a href="https://vividness.live/about-david-chapman/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">David Chapman</a></div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-34118120578779945552020-08-05T12:30:00.000+02:002020-08-05T12:30:09.903+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 17: Too cool for school......too relaxed to post, too happy to care.<br /><br />I'm slowly beginning to understand what it means to be emotionally independent. When you realize you have a stable foundation inside, and you need not rely on external factors. When all the annoyance just falls by the... WILL YOU BE QUIET? WILL YOU FUCKING STOP IT WITH YOUR BULLSHIT NOISE ALL THE TIME??? ..., you know, when you experience that calm inside. It's truly lovely. And it really improves the holiday experience.<br /><br />We had wonderful sex last night. I made my wife cum a few times (more times than ever before actually). I rested in her, didn't cum. I love that way to have sex. Sadly, it can't last forever.<br /><br />Today, I made a lot of flat maintenance - putting stuff in boxes and stowing them in cupboards. Perfect job for a rainy day, and my back very much appreciates all the exercise. The only downside is, I'm exhausted now.<br /><br />I feel I'm at a bit of a crossroads. We'll spend the weekend at a good hotel, have a candlelight dinner and get pampered to no end. My wife told me that, me not cumming in her, feels like a tiny bit of a loss to her. As I said, I would love to go on without it for a few more weeks, but on the other hand, I want her to have the best sexual experience she can. She does appreciate all the enthusiasm though. Maybe I'll just see it as a kind of interruption, moreso than an end. Anyway I would like to keep up the journal, to make a note of how I feel afterwards. I might skip the weekend though. Being pampered tends to do that...<br /><br /><div>It gets down to a decision of priorities. There isn't any drama there. Either way is good, either way is a way forward. I'll just have to decide, that's all.</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-60212354287099002822020-08-04T11:18:00.002+02:002020-08-04T11:18:44.582+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 16: An opportunity relax into the noise.I'm quite tired. There is construction work going on outside, and it's fairly loud. I'm waiting for the delivery service guy to arrive (alcohol free beer, mostly). I don't plan on leaving the flat at all. Delivery food, a few videos, some reading...<br /><br />Despite the tiredness, the annoying noises and the wait (which always makes me kind of nervous even if there isn't anything to fret about), I'm surprisingly focused, calm and content. I put it down to my daily meditation routine, intermittent deep breathing, yoga and the good feelings from the chastity work, mostly.<br /><br />When you know how not to fight the noise, instead make a conscious effort to welcome it (counterintuitive as this is!), realize that you can't do anything about it anyway - well, I could go to a café or something, so if I choose otherwise, it's really my own fault isn't it - and try to see it is yet another practice, then it all becomes a lot easier.<br /><br />Ultimately, the idea is that everything contains an element of joy, even what seems to annoy us and make us mad. I can vibe with the sounds, or pick a fruitless fight. There isn't even a question which is more intelligent. One can go a step further, meditate into the sounds, give myself compassion and later extend it to the construction workers.<br /><br />I'm reminded of a zen anecdote, I don't know where I read it: The monks complained to the zen master that the noise from the construction site disturbed their meditation. To which the master replied: Then why do you disturb the sounds with your mind?<br /><br /><div>I'll try to get some writing done, do some housework and a bit of yoga, and other than that, just relax.</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-79650216658831404582020-08-03T14:31:00.001+02:002020-08-03T14:31:32.425+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 15: The thrill is goneWhat do you do when the thrill wears of? Especially when you've committed to a daily journaling effort. Even if practically nobody will ever read this, I feel like I have an obligation to produce something mildly interesting each day.<br /><br />You know what IS interesting? Since I dabble in writing, this is a problem I face quite often. I have a scene in my current narrative where a woman holds a wiccan/feminist/tantric course. It is important to establish her as a leader, and by the end of it, her patriarchal nemesis will break in and ruin the day. But what do I do to build this up? Sometimes, ideas come cheap. Sometimes they don't. There are a few techniques, but they only get you so far. You have to keep at it, even if it feels nothing goes right.<br /><br />One way to deal with it is to go meta, break the fourth wall: for example, to talk about habits in general. A bit of a cop-out, but only a bit.<br /><br />There is a dramaturgy to habits, a common way they unfold.<br /><br />You start with firm dedication, great dreams and motivation. "I will prevail over the demon of smoking. I will practice my bass every day, and soon I will be a rock goddess."<br /><br />For a week or so, you actually feel some progress.<br /><br />Then it all peters off. Like in a love affair, the thrill is gone, and you want to move on. You drag on for a bit, and then...<br /><br />Well, maybe you give up, actually move on to something else, or you drag yourself through that down. Life experience can help you with that. Friends can help. Accountability buddies. Habit trackers. If it's a "negative" habit, like giving up alcohol or nofap, this might actually be a bit easier to get through - you don't have to drag your sorry ass up to do stuff, you just have to not-do anything. It can still be tough, with relief lurking around the corner, only a few minutes of rubbing it off.<br /><br />Having a firm grasp of your imagination can help. When I wrote that last sentence, the urge came back. When I write my (rather sexually charged) narrative, it doesn't. So I think that it's a good idea to be very observative about the thoughts and images in my head. I don't feed my brain racy raunchy videos. I try and read a lot - it's on my daily habits list. Re-finding the advantage of reading over video-ing is good.<br /><br /><div>I think it is important to realize that it's not about instigating one change, and that's that. The motivation to change comes in waves, like everything else. The challenge is not to overcome the hollow - or dive through as it were - but to ride the flow and the ebb alike. There can be a realization that something unexpected might wait beyond the chasm, and holding out for a while will get you there, even if you don't see it yet. Or... or there is nothing, and then you have learned something valuable too.</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-13683808253772643352020-08-02T11:55:00.002+02:002020-08-02T11:55:26.364+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 14: PhilosophyI got a bit of writing done yesterday. Improved my very own personal habit tracker. Revisited my ancient greek studies. Then went out with a friend and got properly wasted. Plus, we recited Goethe's Faust with much gusto.<br /><br />All in all, a productive Saturday! Even more so if you keep in mind that this was the first day of my holidays!<br /><br />This is decidedly a stay-in-bed Sunday.<br /><br />The chastity is now quite easy to keep up. There is this deep joy in breathing the energy into my feet (which happens all by itself a lot of the time), or somewhere else (which requires some focus). It's a wonderful feeling without comparison. I wonder if one gets used to it, if one can get addicted to it, if it can turn into its own little habit.<br /><br />I get the impression that habits are a lot like muscles - use them or lose them. That goes for good habits as well as bad ones. I wonder how this relates to self-definition - "Me, I'm just naturally chaste, deep down". Yeah, no, probably won't work.<br /><br />I'm preparing a blog post, a reaction to a youtube video. I discovered that one can open the transcript, copy it into one's favourite text editor (vim - what else?), perform a few search/replaces, and you have a good-enough text to read and use for commenting. Quite fancy!<br />betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-85094308377651384792020-08-01T11:33:00.002+02:002020-08-01T14:06:35.057+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 13: Will I make it?This promises to be interesting. Since it's saturday and we have some time together, and my wife is up for it, there will be sexual activity later on. Lots of headgiving on my part for sure, and maybe a bit of resting inside Goddess. It has happened in the past that I came from only being inside her, without any movement at all. It might happen again, unavoidably. One should not forget that my wife is the hottest woman in existence, right now even more than ever! (It's one part of why I'm doing this, after all!)<br /> <br />If it does happen, let's enjoy it and not look at it as a kind of loss. Remember, length of streak is a poor measure. Enjoyment matters more. Acceptance matters most.<br /><br /><div>I will do a little update later on...</div><div><br />UPDATE: Life got in the way. This is the good thing about a chastity lifestyle. When you don't get the sex, you can tell yourself that it was really a good thing, since you didn't end your streak, hehe.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/</a><br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5428032108423273627.post-60869913418686269152020-07-31T11:39:00.000+02:002020-07-31T11:39:05.567+02:00Diary of a nofap streak - Day 12: Not really that hard, but probably boringI'm thinking... maybe the reason why people end their "streaks" is not because they can't stand the arousal anymore, or because their spouses beg them for sexy time. Maybe it just gets boring after a while. You can't focus on on not having orgasms for the rest of your life. It's just not that interesting in and of itself.<br /><br />In general, my interests seem to shift about every other week. For a long time, I tried to tackle that by forcing me to keep with one thing. That didn't work out at all. For example, I would be sitting with my latest literary text, and just... no words would come, I would get irritated, start looking around for other things to do, find excuses... By now, I try to always have at least one literary project, one coding project, and one book to read, so I can switch them up. This works quite well.<br /><br />Just to find one more thing related to chastity: The language of "energy". I have ranted about this quite a lot in the past - mostly because I often encounter a kind of intellectual rigidity, and because I can't seem to manage to explain my position to people in a way that doesn't alienate them. And it's a shame because I feel we could all profit from sharing our notes.<br /><br />I haven't found any proof of special sexual energies in the body. What I found, was a feeling that can be metaphorically described as an "energy" - just like we talk about "warm fuzzy feelings" or "getting cold feet". We don't think that our body temperature actually changes locally to any signifcant amount just because we have romantic emotions, or some mild panic. In the same vein, I see no reason to presume, based on my own experiences and whatever I know about human anatomy, that the "energy" is anything but a psychomotor effect. So I accept "kundalini", "energy", "qi" as more or less apt metaphors for something we do with our body/minds. Works for me, anyway.<br /><br />What I seem to encounter, over and over again, are people who desparately need to convince me that there is some reality to it. And I want to convince them - wait for it - NOT that they are wrong, but that that belief is unnecessary for us to talk about our experiences. The experiences are exactly the same (I guess) regardless of our interpretation. Or not. In order to determine that, we have to first establish common ground. And that seems impossible to do.<br /><br />I think this goes to a larger issue. I'm not going to drag religion and politics into this... but it seems like these are fundamentally similar issues. I think identity politcs, groupthink and tribalism play a part in this.<br /><br />We're all massively identified with our own positions. That goes for those interlocutors, that goes for myself. It seems almost impossible to just present a point, explain how I got there, compare notes, and be done with it. It always escalates into anger and name-calling and you-just-don't-get-it, and whatever.<br /><br />I tried a lot about that. Nothing ever works.<br /><br />I would love to have a debate about "kundalini energy" - but purely on the meta level. I would like some people from the "it's real" crowd and some from the "it's just a metaphor" group (do you even exist? Hello...? HELLO!!!?) to talk about how we could talk about our common experiences, our paths and detours, without getting all riled up and dragged into debates about semantics.<br /><br /><div>I face a very similar issue when it comes to religion. There are those who believe in it - and there are those who think it's all bullcrap and just throw it away. I'm somewhere in between. I don't believe in it, but I think it's a fundamentally important part of the human condition, it's endlessly fascinating and we should study it in-depth - which I have been doing all my adult life. And it frustrates me to no and how there is no way to communicate across group boundaries without a fight.</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /></div><div><br /></div><div>Reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/Joyful_Chastity/comments/huosv1/getting_back_into_chastity/<br /></div>betlamedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14859006136534657422noreply@blogger.com0