So, I attended my first tantra course.
All in all, it was a wonderful experience. I met a lot of very friendly, gentle, very nice people, and a few who didn't particularly spark my interest.
A few things stand out:
First off, I will never forget the moment when that gentle, therapeutic tantra teacher, seated behind his stereo mixing the music, suddenly burst out "shit! fuck! stupid cursed stereo!" and so on, because the stereo had suddenly stopped working.
Yes, the moving the pelvis and breathing deeply helps a great deal.
Next, I never knew what a great dancer I am. And what a great lover. And what an excellent priest.
And also, once you realize that you're dealing with gods and goddesses, or queens and kings, you can play any role you like - romancer, firy lover, macho man, priest... it doesn't matter, as long as it's grounded in mutual respect.
It is so necessary to learn how to say "no"! You cannot ever really say "yes" before you've learned how to say "no".
And of course, the most important part: Getting a "no" from someone else doesn't kill me. It's a no to that one touch, it's a challenge to find another way perhaps - but it has nothing to do with me as a person.
And "chakras" still don't exist in reality. They're just a somewhat useful metaphor to help you focus on specific aspects.